Yesterday I admitted to a friend of mine that for the first time in my life I completely understood the statement that I have heard thousands of times in my life. That statement which is made by men every day. The statement that I have always said didn't really apply to me. You probably already figured out what I am going to say. I don't understand women...go ahead and laugh...up until yesterday I could always find some logic in the actions or a reason, however small, that would lead up to the reaction that they would give. Now I am totally lost...and I am not going to go into the situation. That is not the important part of this realization. My friend told me that she thought it was good for me, she thinks I need to be left in the dark a little bit and have something that I can't figure out. I am not sure that I agree but I kind of see her point.
I came to a crossroad yesterday. What would I do? I decided to live what I preach. You might think that living what I preach should not have been something that was difficult. I made the statement tonight when I was speaking, "I like to preach what I live." That means I put it into practice and then I can preach about it. So what do I mean I decided to live what I preach?
I am going to walk in love. That means I will love without expecting anything in return. That means that I will always be there and instead of pulling away I will press in, even if I get hurt in the end. What love means to me (as posted in previous blogs): A decision based on your character for the selfless promotion of someone else. If I truly believe this then I don't need to be loved back. I don't need to know that my love will ever be returned or even seen for what it truly is...if I am waiting for something in return then it isn't love. If I am waiting until I know that I will be appreciated because it makes me feel good to be appreciated then I love myself more than I love that person. So I will walk out love as best I can. I am not perfect and there are times when I know I don't show God's love through my life the way that it needs to be shown but that doesn't mean I am not going to try. I am going to do my best and if I get hurt in the process at least I will know that my motives were pure.
It all comes back to love...what love means to you and how you choose to show that love through your actions. This was for me more than it was for anyone who may read it. I have found that when I write about things I am going through in my life, there are usually a few other people who are facing similar situations. I don't have all the answers but I try to make you start to look for your own answers. Now I need to go to bed.
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