Today I had the most emotionally draining day of ups and downs that I have had in a while. It started off first thing in the morning and didn't stop until just a little while ago!
I talked to 3 people today that I didn't expect to talk to. All three are people I consider to be friends and all three bring out different emotional responses in me. Some of them because I miss them and others are different reasons.
I am not one to vent online about my personal life and I am not going to start now. I guess I just want you to be sensitive to the people around you. You never know what is really going on in their lives at the moment you walk in the room, give them a call or send them a text. Just remember that you can change someones day for good or bad with the first word out of your mouth.
I need to sleep now, smile more. It makes everyone's life better.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
All you need is love...
I posted a facebook status that said, "Just saw a blackberry commercial with the song All You Need is Love. Do you agree? Discuss..."
I didn't put any limitations on how this was interpreted or in what context I was talking about love. I got a very interesting mix of comments back. Some people said yes all you need is love and there were various reasons why it was all you need. One person got very literal and said you need food, shelter....other basic things besides love. Then that same person said that one persons actions based on love may seem cruel and inhumane to someone else.
It was a lot to think about and it is funny that no one asked for any clarification. They all just went with what they thought I was asking.
From my point of view I was really looking for what people thought in regards to two different uses of the phrase all you need is love. First in the relationship sense and second in the perspective that in life (and all the decisions that go into life) all you need is love. Agree or disagree on either one of those.
When it comes to a relationship I think that all you need is love does not cover enough. You must add at at least 4 words to this sentance to make it true. "All you need is love"...for the other person! What do I mean by that? If I say all I need is love then of course I mean love for the other person in my relationship...right?
Here is the problem that I see. People say they love someone else...when really they don't. They love the way someone else makes them feel. They love the things someone else does for them. Sometimes they even love the "idea" of being with that other person. In all of these cases they are really saying, "I love me." They are in love with what you do for them and when you stop doing whatever that is...then the love is gone. It magically disappeared! They will give all sorts of reasons why the love they felt is gone, but in reality it was never truly love for the other person at all.
If you truly have love for another person then making them happy is what is most important. Laying down your desires for their good is what you will do and you will do it gladly. This is the kind of love that makes the statement "all you need is love" actually work. The problem is that not very many times in life do we see this kind of love in action. Emotions change, situations change, people change...those are facts. You can love someone no matter what they do or say. You can love someone that doesn't love you back. That choice is up to you.
When it comes to the bigger picture of in life all you need is love...I believe the same equation appplies. If I live my life for the people around me instead of for myself then I will have a positive impact on their lives. I will improve the quality of the lives I come in contact with and when I do that I will improve the quality of my life.
Most people are selfish most of the time. It is amazing to me how when you do the smallest thing for someone they are shocked! You pay for a candy bar for the person in line behind you at the gas station and they don't know how to react! Most people make almost all of their decisions based on what is in their best interest. I will not say that all of my decisions are based on what others need. I will say that I am doing my very best to get there. I choose every day to make decisions that will help someone else because I love them. My love for people in general has led me to where I am today...and I am happy with where I am today.
Pastor Perry said in church today that you never tell the truth at funerals. Everyone was a wonderful person...when they are the one that died. He was kind of joking...but it is also pretty close to true. One thing that jumped out to me when my Grandma Ardis died was that what was said about her was exactly what I had seen in her life. I swear I never heard her say one bad thing about anyone in my whole life. She would do anything for anyone who asked if she was able. She lived a life of love...and they had to have her memorial service at the community center because there wasn't a church big enough in our little town. That is a legacy I would like to leave behind. I want people to know that I care. I want people to feel loved when they are around me. I don't care if I am rich, I don't care if I am famous...I just want to show true love through my life every day until my time is up.
I know I don't always live up to what I want, but I am trying. If I didn't show you the love I should have I am sorry. I will do my very best to do better next time.
This post is long enough...so I am going to stop. Just remember that you can save a life with a kind word. What you do and what you say matter. Change someones life today.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
I didn't put any limitations on how this was interpreted or in what context I was talking about love. I got a very interesting mix of comments back. Some people said yes all you need is love and there were various reasons why it was all you need. One person got very literal and said you need food, shelter....other basic things besides love. Then that same person said that one persons actions based on love may seem cruel and inhumane to someone else.
It was a lot to think about and it is funny that no one asked for any clarification. They all just went with what they thought I was asking.
From my point of view I was really looking for what people thought in regards to two different uses of the phrase all you need is love. First in the relationship sense and second in the perspective that in life (and all the decisions that go into life) all you need is love. Agree or disagree on either one of those.
When it comes to a relationship I think that all you need is love does not cover enough. You must add at at least 4 words to this sentance to make it true. "All you need is love"...for the other person! What do I mean by that? If I say all I need is love then of course I mean love for the other person in my relationship...right?
Here is the problem that I see. People say they love someone else...when really they don't. They love the way someone else makes them feel. They love the things someone else does for them. Sometimes they even love the "idea" of being with that other person. In all of these cases they are really saying, "I love me." They are in love with what you do for them and when you stop doing whatever that is...then the love is gone. It magically disappeared! They will give all sorts of reasons why the love they felt is gone, but in reality it was never truly love for the other person at all.
If you truly have love for another person then making them happy is what is most important. Laying down your desires for their good is what you will do and you will do it gladly. This is the kind of love that makes the statement "all you need is love" actually work. The problem is that not very many times in life do we see this kind of love in action. Emotions change, situations change, people change...those are facts. You can love someone no matter what they do or say. You can love someone that doesn't love you back. That choice is up to you.
When it comes to the bigger picture of in life all you need is love...I believe the same equation appplies. If I live my life for the people around me instead of for myself then I will have a positive impact on their lives. I will improve the quality of the lives I come in contact with and when I do that I will improve the quality of my life.
Most people are selfish most of the time. It is amazing to me how when you do the smallest thing for someone they are shocked! You pay for a candy bar for the person in line behind you at the gas station and they don't know how to react! Most people make almost all of their decisions based on what is in their best interest. I will not say that all of my decisions are based on what others need. I will say that I am doing my very best to get there. I choose every day to make decisions that will help someone else because I love them. My love for people in general has led me to where I am today...and I am happy with where I am today.
Pastor Perry said in church today that you never tell the truth at funerals. Everyone was a wonderful person...when they are the one that died. He was kind of joking...but it is also pretty close to true. One thing that jumped out to me when my Grandma Ardis died was that what was said about her was exactly what I had seen in her life. I swear I never heard her say one bad thing about anyone in my whole life. She would do anything for anyone who asked if she was able. She lived a life of love...and they had to have her memorial service at the community center because there wasn't a church big enough in our little town. That is a legacy I would like to leave behind. I want people to know that I care. I want people to feel loved when they are around me. I don't care if I am rich, I don't care if I am famous...I just want to show true love through my life every day until my time is up.
I know I don't always live up to what I want, but I am trying. If I didn't show you the love I should have I am sorry. I will do my very best to do better next time.
This post is long enough...so I am going to stop. Just remember that you can save a life with a kind word. What you do and what you say matter. Change someones life today.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
I don't moderate very well...
Today I truly realized something about me for the first time. This is something that may not be important to you (the reader) at all, but it does really matter to me.
For years I used to say I didn't moderate very well. When I do something, I do that thing a LOT! I was not allowed to carry medicine, energy pills...etc. This was not when I was a child, this was me in my early 20's!
Most of the time it was my brother who would notice my excess and remind me to stop. I no longer have any trouble with medicine, energy pills, energy drinks...or any of the vices that I couldn't control at that time.
In the past two or three years I had stopped saying I don't moderate well. I was keeping things in check and then I moved here.
I didn't pick back up any habits that I had from years gone by, but today I looked at patterns in my life right now. I don't have a problem so much with moderation, I react to stress by using repetition.
I am not a person who gets stressed out. I don't worry about things and I don't show the cracks of stressful situations. I fill those cracks with repetition. I will give you the example that made this all clear to me.
The week I was going to move into my apt here was very stressful emotionally. Not because I was moving, it was another major situation that caused me a lot of stress. Most people didn't see a change in me and they didn't notice a change in me over the past two weeks either (another very highly emotional time of stress for me.) The pattern that emerged was in my food habits. The first month I lived here I ONLY had pre-cooked chicken, rice and soy sauce. I ate 4 bags of rice in a month. I got away from that for a few weeks and then last week I went shopping for food. In the past week I have eaten an entire bag of tangerines and 14 cans of tuna. Every night I came home and read a book while I ate oranges and tuna. My routine puts my mind on auto-pilot in certain areas so I can deal with other things.
Looking back I see this pattern to be true. After the most stressful situation of my life I filled my routine with unhealthy things that I didn't moderate and those things I stopped once I got my head straight and dealt with the past. Since moving here I have been quiet and reserved at work. Neither of those are typical traits for me but I look back and that is how I started off my last couple jobs in new areas. While I am getting comfortable and dealing with the stress of a new place I get into routines and I pull back socially. This gives me less to deal with so that I can use my energy to focus on the task at hand.
So I guess I say all that to say I don't have a moderation problem, I just don't always deal with stress in a healthy manner. You may not see it, but it does affect me. Now that I see this in myself I am going to work on it. I guess time will tell what happens next. I am trying to deal with my current stress in a healthier way. Let's see if it works.
Like I said, this post was more for me than it really was for you. You now have a little better view of what goes on in my mind from time to time.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
For years I used to say I didn't moderate very well. When I do something, I do that thing a LOT! I was not allowed to carry medicine, energy pills...etc. This was not when I was a child, this was me in my early 20's!
Most of the time it was my brother who would notice my excess and remind me to stop. I no longer have any trouble with medicine, energy pills, energy drinks...or any of the vices that I couldn't control at that time.
In the past two or three years I had stopped saying I don't moderate well. I was keeping things in check and then I moved here.
I didn't pick back up any habits that I had from years gone by, but today I looked at patterns in my life right now. I don't have a problem so much with moderation, I react to stress by using repetition.
I am not a person who gets stressed out. I don't worry about things and I don't show the cracks of stressful situations. I fill those cracks with repetition. I will give you the example that made this all clear to me.
The week I was going to move into my apt here was very stressful emotionally. Not because I was moving, it was another major situation that caused me a lot of stress. Most people didn't see a change in me and they didn't notice a change in me over the past two weeks either (another very highly emotional time of stress for me.) The pattern that emerged was in my food habits. The first month I lived here I ONLY had pre-cooked chicken, rice and soy sauce. I ate 4 bags of rice in a month. I got away from that for a few weeks and then last week I went shopping for food. In the past week I have eaten an entire bag of tangerines and 14 cans of tuna. Every night I came home and read a book while I ate oranges and tuna. My routine puts my mind on auto-pilot in certain areas so I can deal with other things.
Looking back I see this pattern to be true. After the most stressful situation of my life I filled my routine with unhealthy things that I didn't moderate and those things I stopped once I got my head straight and dealt with the past. Since moving here I have been quiet and reserved at work. Neither of those are typical traits for me but I look back and that is how I started off my last couple jobs in new areas. While I am getting comfortable and dealing with the stress of a new place I get into routines and I pull back socially. This gives me less to deal with so that I can use my energy to focus on the task at hand.
So I guess I say all that to say I don't have a moderation problem, I just don't always deal with stress in a healthy manner. You may not see it, but it does affect me. Now that I see this in myself I am going to work on it. I guess time will tell what happens next. I am trying to deal with my current stress in a healthier way. Let's see if it works.
Like I said, this post was more for me than it really was for you. You now have a little better view of what goes on in my mind from time to time.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Thursday, January 14, 2010
I had several blog ideas today...
What one am I going to write about? I'm not sure just yet...well it started with the whole Haiti earthquake relief. It is amazing to see people band together and give so much help (help that is desperately needed!) even when we are in "tough economic times." Our economy doesn't seem so bad when you think about the fact that 1/3 of Haiti's population was affected by the earthquake. We lay down our own "needs" in a second when a true need rises up...but how many thousands of people die each day around the world and IN THE USA because they lack the basic essentials for life! They don't have clean water or they lack the ability to santitize their food.
Why does it take something like this to make us see how much we have to give?
I did donate a small amount of money to help with the relief, I am not saying we shouldn't help! I'm saying why don't we help someone each month instead of just when the big disaster happens? Why is need so out of sight out of mind in our society as a whole? I am not saying anything to you that I am not saying to myself too! I want to do more, I can do more and I will do more.
This isn't a contest and I know that not everyone is in the same financial situation. I do know this, almost all of us eat out more than we need to and could cut a Starbucks drink or two out a month to change a life. Just think about it, do what you are comfortable with. No pressure from me...just don't forget that the need is there.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Why does it take something like this to make us see how much we have to give?
I did donate a small amount of money to help with the relief, I am not saying we shouldn't help! I'm saying why don't we help someone each month instead of just when the big disaster happens? Why is need so out of sight out of mind in our society as a whole? I am not saying anything to you that I am not saying to myself too! I want to do more, I can do more and I will do more.
This isn't a contest and I know that not everyone is in the same financial situation. I do know this, almost all of us eat out more than we need to and could cut a Starbucks drink or two out a month to change a life. Just think about it, do what you are comfortable with. No pressure from me...just don't forget that the need is there.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
I wrote a poem again...
The last time I wrote one was...well it was a long time ago. I am pretty sure that I blogged about how I stored it in my phone and that phone died...and so did my poem.
This one is not stored on my phone...but it is in a journal that for now is just for me.
I don't think it is a very good poem, but at least it is something. I do my very best not to vent in my writing and for the most part I don't. Poetry is an outlet, it says things that only the writer truly understands. You may think you know, but most of the time you only know as much as the writer wants you to know about the true feelings behind a poem.
Mine was written for me. I will read it again tomorrow night and see what I think of it then. :) for now I am going to attempt sleep once again.
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This one is not stored on my phone...but it is in a journal that for now is just for me.
I don't think it is a very good poem, but at least it is something. I do my very best not to vent in my writing and for the most part I don't. Poetry is an outlet, it says things that only the writer truly understands. You may think you know, but most of the time you only know as much as the writer wants you to know about the true feelings behind a poem.
Mine was written for me. I will read it again tomorrow night and see what I think of it then. :) for now I am going to attempt sleep once again.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Monday, January 4, 2010
I'm blessed...so much more than I deserve
Once again I am blessed beyond what I expected or even was hoping for! As some of you know I have had a car that...has a lot of character! I have been driving a 1987 AMC Eagle the "Chick Magnet" for almost two years now. I am not complaining, it was a blessing when I got it and it served me well. I had been planning on selling it around the middle of this month and buying another car. Well the Chick Magnet had other plans. It decided to die as I was pulling into the church parking lot on Sunday...and it is still sitting in the parking spot that the ushers, greeters and PJ helped me push it into. So today I decided I was going to buy a car, since I didn't have one to drive.
Here is where the story gets fun; sometime this morning someone called the dealership where I was buying a car and said they wanted to help me buy one! They put down money on top of my down payment and said that the salesman couldn't tell me who it was! As if that wasn't awesome enough the guy who was going to buy the Chick Magnet (even though I can't get it started!) said he wanted to pay more than double what I was asking for it while it was running! To top it all off the dealer who I was talking to about a car gives me a much better price than he had to and with all the help from the unknown giver and the buyer of my broken down car I now have a car with a reasonable payment! Even if I only pay exactly the payments I will have the car paid off in 12 months! If that isn't God at work in the first week of this New Year I don't know what is!
God is good...and you can say that all of this was done by people. Which of course is true, but why would all these people decide to help me!? I haven't known any of them a year yet and we all know that the economy is not booming to the point that they all had extra money laying around to throw toward a guy that they are still getting to know!
I have been blown away once again by the friends that I have here...oh man, I almost forgot! I was also loaned a car this morning to get to and from work because my car stayed in the parking lot from Sunday morning until...now! I have an amazing friend who said, "I don't need my car today, just drop it off after you get off work." That just doesn't happen!
Now I know I didn't list any names...and some of you know who some of the people are that helped me today. I will and have thanked all of the people that I know who they are. I know that none of them did anything for me so that other people would pat them on the back. They reached out and helped where they could.
That is what love does. You might not have all the pieces to help put someone back together...but you might have a piece. Sometimes we think that what we have doesn't amount to much. We think that what we can do won't make a difference. You couldn't be more wrong. If we all do what we can do then we can change the world...one life at a time. Thank you to everyone who does their part. Thank you to all of you who do the things that don't get noticed by most people. If you look at your life and you haven't been doing the small things to help other people...now is a great time to start. It is like someone once said, "The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the second best time is right now."
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Here is where the story gets fun; sometime this morning someone called the dealership where I was buying a car and said they wanted to help me buy one! They put down money on top of my down payment and said that the salesman couldn't tell me who it was! As if that wasn't awesome enough the guy who was going to buy the Chick Magnet (even though I can't get it started!) said he wanted to pay more than double what I was asking for it while it was running! To top it all off the dealer who I was talking to about a car gives me a much better price than he had to and with all the help from the unknown giver and the buyer of my broken down car I now have a car with a reasonable payment! Even if I only pay exactly the payments I will have the car paid off in 12 months! If that isn't God at work in the first week of this New Year I don't know what is!
God is good...and you can say that all of this was done by people. Which of course is true, but why would all these people decide to help me!? I haven't known any of them a year yet and we all know that the economy is not booming to the point that they all had extra money laying around to throw toward a guy that they are still getting to know!
I have been blown away once again by the friends that I have here...oh man, I almost forgot! I was also loaned a car this morning to get to and from work because my car stayed in the parking lot from Sunday morning until...now! I have an amazing friend who said, "I don't need my car today, just drop it off after you get off work." That just doesn't happen!
Now I know I didn't list any names...and some of you know who some of the people are that helped me today. I will and have thanked all of the people that I know who they are. I know that none of them did anything for me so that other people would pat them on the back. They reached out and helped where they could.
That is what love does. You might not have all the pieces to help put someone back together...but you might have a piece. Sometimes we think that what we have doesn't amount to much. We think that what we can do won't make a difference. You couldn't be more wrong. If we all do what we can do then we can change the world...one life at a time. Thank you to everyone who does their part. Thank you to all of you who do the things that don't get noticed by most people. If you look at your life and you haven't been doing the small things to help other people...now is a great time to start. It is like someone once said, "The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the second best time is right now."
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Friday, January 1, 2010
2009...change
Change is the theme of this year for me. There is no question about that. Last year at 10:10pm on January 1st I was in Stevenson, WA with my brother and my cousin watching videos on YouTube.
If you had told me right them that by in one year I would have left my job and taken a position as a singles pastor in Bryant AR I would have said you were crazy! What a difference a year makes.
One thing I know is that I never say never. There seems to be no rhyme or reason when it comes to where I am going to move or what job I will be asked to do next. That has never been more evident in my life than right now.
People make plans, they look at exactly how they want their lives to go and where they see themselves in 5, 10 or 20 years. I'm not saying that having a plan is bad or wrong...what I am saying is that you need to enjoy what you have and where you are right now!
I left a lot of really good friends and my Dad when I left Oklahoma. I had a good job, a stable job where they wanted me to stay. I was very blessed with everything I had and all the people that were in my life every day.
From the outside looking in my choices don't always make sense. The reason for that is because I don't make my choices based on what "you" are going to think about them. I believe God has a plan for the life of every human. You don't have to agree with me on that, you choose what you believe. I also believe that if I make my choices based on love and where I believe God wants me to be then I will be happy.
If I told you that this whole year has been fun or that I haven't had any struggles along the way I would be lying. My happiness is not based on my circumstances or what side of the bed I wake up on. The last month has shown me that I can be happy when nothing seems right. I can rest in the fact that I am not moved by what I see. I am doing my very best each day to show the love of a perfect God through me, an imperfect man. I am honored to be used to help anyones life. I'm not here for me, I'm here to help as many people as possible before my time is up.
I found out in the last year that people in Arkansas are really nice. Southern hospitality is not a myth. I constantly have people checking to make sure I am not alone for the holidays or that I don't spend too much time by myself. These aren't lifelong friends, these aren't people I had ever met before 2009 (with the exception of one family.) These are people who opened their homes and their hearts to a guy from Washington that they don't really know. They have done for me what I am trying to do for them.
Most people won't get this far into this post. I found that long posts are only read by a few people...but if you made it this far I want to ask you to do something for me. Change someones life this year. Reach out and make a difference. Smile when you don't feel like it. Hold the door when it is raining. Invite someone to come with you to the movies even though your friends don't know them. Close the gap that people feel between them and the rest of the world.
"Be the change you want to see in the world." -Ghandi
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
If you had told me right them that by in one year I would have left my job and taken a position as a singles pastor in Bryant AR I would have said you were crazy! What a difference a year makes.
One thing I know is that I never say never. There seems to be no rhyme or reason when it comes to where I am going to move or what job I will be asked to do next. That has never been more evident in my life than right now.
People make plans, they look at exactly how they want their lives to go and where they see themselves in 5, 10 or 20 years. I'm not saying that having a plan is bad or wrong...what I am saying is that you need to enjoy what you have and where you are right now!
I left a lot of really good friends and my Dad when I left Oklahoma. I had a good job, a stable job where they wanted me to stay. I was very blessed with everything I had and all the people that were in my life every day.
From the outside looking in my choices don't always make sense. The reason for that is because I don't make my choices based on what "you" are going to think about them. I believe God has a plan for the life of every human. You don't have to agree with me on that, you choose what you believe. I also believe that if I make my choices based on love and where I believe God wants me to be then I will be happy.
If I told you that this whole year has been fun or that I haven't had any struggles along the way I would be lying. My happiness is not based on my circumstances or what side of the bed I wake up on. The last month has shown me that I can be happy when nothing seems right. I can rest in the fact that I am not moved by what I see. I am doing my very best each day to show the love of a perfect God through me, an imperfect man. I am honored to be used to help anyones life. I'm not here for me, I'm here to help as many people as possible before my time is up.
I found out in the last year that people in Arkansas are really nice. Southern hospitality is not a myth. I constantly have people checking to make sure I am not alone for the holidays or that I don't spend too much time by myself. These aren't lifelong friends, these aren't people I had ever met before 2009 (with the exception of one family.) These are people who opened their homes and their hearts to a guy from Washington that they don't really know. They have done for me what I am trying to do for them.
Most people won't get this far into this post. I found that long posts are only read by a few people...but if you made it this far I want to ask you to do something for me. Change someones life this year. Reach out and make a difference. Smile when you don't feel like it. Hold the door when it is raining. Invite someone to come with you to the movies even though your friends don't know them. Close the gap that people feel between them and the rest of the world.
"Be the change you want to see in the world." -Ghandi
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
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