I am not sure what to expect tonight. I work my second job tonight, which I have never done on a Thursday. Also this is my second night as the "lead" person. At my night job we have a lead person and a support person. I am the lead person again tonight. The first time I was the lead person was on Tuesday and we set off the smoke alarm and I burned my hand. Also the job took longer than either of us wanted it to take.
Now I have that coming up and work today has been strange. Dealing with things that have never really happened before. No huge issues just a bunch of strange small things. Also it is the last day that Josh's Sno-cone Shack is open for the year, so that is a bit sad.
I don't know, I have a lot floating around in my head right now that I don't think I am going to write out. Not because it would be bad...but because I feel like I can control things in my life better when I keep my thoughts to myself. If I let you see what I am thinking about then you have the ability to change something in my life. I never considered myself a control freak but recently I have seen that there are areas where I don't like to share control.
At work I have no problem doing exactly what someone asks me to do. If what they ask me to do is to think for myself I will do that but if they need someone to follow orders I will do that as well. I have been volunteering for the same youth pastor for 6 years now and I will do whatever he asks me to do when it comes to church. I am out to take his vision and make it a reality.
The issues that I am having a hard time with in myself are the "small" things that I don't talk about. My emotions, my feelings about situations, my views on people or events...the list goes on and on. I just don't let people know what is going on in my head very often. I know it is a control issue and I am still struggling to find out where and when I picked it up. I am trying to be more transparent, all you need to do is read my last post and you will see that. I had a really hard time leaving that post online...and I still haven't double posted it on my facebook. Almost all of my posts are double posted because most of my friends have a facebook and won't come over to my blog. This is a safer place for me to blog about things that I really am not sure I want to share. Like Bob (Bill Murray) said, "Baby steps..."
All that being said, I am not going to write about the 4 or 5 things running through my head right now. I am just going to leave them there for now and maybe one day I will be ready to share some more.
1 comment:
eh...take your time and don't say anything you don't want someone to use against you later. I'm very outspoken which is a sort of release for me AND a curse in a same. I feel good sharing but I lose friends and make enemies occassionally. Just take your time bro. No rush.
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