It is AMAZING how one comment can change your whole day! I was talking with a friend and one comment, that I know was not meant to mean anything, really brought me down. The comment fit in the conversation and was not mean or anything like that.
I don't enjoy the fact that anyone else can control my emotions like that...even when they didn't mean to do it at all! I know that people will say, because it is the first thing I thought when I stopped to look at my situation, "The Joy of the Lord is Your Strength Michael"...and I am not saying that I don't agree with this statement. I don't draw my joy in life from other people or what they think of me. That has never really been something that I struggled with, so why right now has my whole afternoon gone down hill in a matter of minutes?
I am not asking this question so that someone will answer it, I am asking it so that I can answer it. We all have different reasons for why things affect us the way that they do. I am trying to learn myself and why I react the way that I react.
I really think that me being tired has something to do with my reaction. When I am tired I get more emotional and worked last night, so that is part of it I am sure. There is still something else that bothers me. Being tired simply magnifies the feelings that I can normally keep in check. That being the case, this is an emotional response that would have been there no matter what. I just would have been able to suppress it if I had been getting more rest.
I am not a fan of being controlled by anyone. Work is one thing and I can submit but when you can get me to do something either against my will or out of character simply because I "reacted" to whatever you did, that upsets me. I need to spend some time praying...and sleeping tonight.
Well I just needed to get that out and now I won't have to think about it for a few hours. I have time to figure it out and I can put on a happy face for the evening until I do. :)
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