Today has been a crazy day from the start! When I say from the start, I mean from 12:00 midnight until now. I worked longer last night than I expected to work, I have had conversations today that I never expected to have and I have been thinking about things that haven't crossed my mind in years.
Someone asked me when I sleep, I said I sleep Thursday through Saturday. :) Tonight will not be a restful night, I will go home in a few minutes and start reading. I will read until I am tired enough to fall asleep and then I will sleep until I am rested enough to get up for work. I will work from 11:00pm until most likely 5am and then go home for a few hours until work again. I am not looking for sympathy or understanding, I am simply stating the facts. This is my life right now and it will be my life for the foreseeable future. I have good reasons for why I am putting myself through this and some of you know what they are. If you don't know then it is because I haven't told you and this blog is not the place for me to go into it.
In the past three months that I have been working nights I have had people who I have grown closer to and people who I have grown farther apart from. That happens at every point in life, I know this. The problem is that it happens at a much great pace when you are put into abnormal circumstances. The fact that I don't see anyone outside of work the first half of the week is something that is strange and puts me into the "out of sight, out of mind" category with some people. That is human nature and if I didn't know you very well and then all of a sudden I stopped coming around then what reason would you have to try to continue to get to know me better? Then there are those people who it doesn't matter how long I have been gone or how little I have been around they treat me like we have been hanging out every day. Those are the times I smile because I can appreciate that our relationship is not based on what I can do or how I have been able to entertain them recently but it is based on them wanting to be a part of my life.
Remember that people are only as much a part of your life as you will allow them to be. I might not be a part of your life at all and that is fine. Just remember to show the people who you care about how much you care about them. It can be as easy as telling them you appreciate them or giving them a hug next time you see them. Do the small things, the unexpected things, the things that will not get you anything back but a smile. Do those things for the ones you care about and see how your life changes. Relationships matter, people matter, the stuff that takes up most of your time probably doesn't matter.
1 comment:
I still love you =] ;)
Post a Comment