Sunday is Single's Awareness Day (S.A.D.)...also known as Valentine's Day. When I got home from work today I was going to write about my experience with S.A.D. and all the reasons that I have to not really enjoy this holiday.
As I sat down in my living room and started to collect my thoughts I started to laugh. Laughing while you are sitting in an empty apartment with the tv turned off is an interesting feeling. I was laughing because I am not that guy anymore. A few years ago I made a post on my myspace (which I don't even have anymore) with the title "Single's Awareness Day." I was basically planning on writing the same thing with a couple new sections. Something about this didn't sit right with me and it took me a few minutes to figure out what it was.
In the past couple months I have had no less than half a dozen people come and talk to me about different situations in either their past or their present that they were having a hard time dealing with. It seemed to be an amazing theme that no matter the person, their age, their circumstance...the conclusion that we came to was that they needed to forgive someone (sometimes that person was themselves.)
The issue that kept coming up was that they had already said they forgave, but they never really did. They still held that offense over the person and when something similar happened to what they had already forgiven them of they would say, "here we go again!" The person who said they forgave would tell me about the 25 times this person did this before. That is not forgiveness. Not the forgiveness that I see in the Bible and not the forgiveness that I want to see others show to me.
So that was what I tried to point out in each and every case. When you say you forgive, you can't bring it up again. You can't be waiting for a repeat offense. If you do then you never really forgave them and you aren't walking in love or forgiveness (love keeps no record of wrong.)
The reason I laughed in my apartment all alone today was because I was about to do exactly what I told others not to do. I was going to recount (not naming names...just giving situations...like that is any better!) all of the times that I have been hurt or had an experience that makes me not enjoy this holiday. I am not that guy anymore. Some of you are around me a decent amount now and you know who you are. Do you hear me talking bad about a lot of people? Do I complain about things people have done to me in the past? I don't think I do...and I really try not to. If I complain to you about someone else, tell me. Make me aware of it because I don't want to be that guy. I forgive before I am asked to forgive. If you upset me (which is not really easy to do) the odds are you will never find out. I make a point of forgiving people when they do things that hurt me. Most of the time they were not aware that they hurt me in the first place.
Most people are not out to upset you. Usually they aren't trying to hurt your feelings, they are probably too caught up in their own life to notice what they did to yours. That doesn't make it right, but if you give people the benefit of the doubt and assume they were not being that way on purpose then you can forgive and never touch that thing again in your thoughts. I had to really think to come up with reasons in the past that I don't enjoy this holiday. I have more good memories than bad ones and even if I didn't...I still would have a good day on Sunday.
Forgiveness makes life enjoyable again. It makes you smile which will make other people smile. If you hold things against people that they have done to you, whether on purpose or on accident, you will only be hurting yourself. The Bible tells me that I have to forgive you 490 times for the exact same offense. I haven't had anyone that needed me to forgive them that many times for the same thing yet...and when I do, I will just raise the number.
Life is too short. Change the world that you live in, starting with how you treat those people who are closest to you. Then move out from there. "...forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who have trespassed against us..."
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
2 comments:
Great post. I remember the S.A.D. (probably 7+ years ago when you, Tim and Dan took me out to that German restaurant in Vancouver and then I think we went back to Dan's apartment and watched When Harry Met Sally but I could be wrong about that part. Good times.
:) That was a really fun S.A.D.! I miss you all!
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