and once again I am not. I got to work in two hours. I will work at least a 10 hour day and then turn around and work an 8 hour day. Before I go to sleep again (for more than an hour or two) I will have worked almost half of a normal work week and yet I am wide awake now and I can't get myself to rest. I have too much going on in my head.
This year has started off very strange. I am not sure exactly how it is all going to go but I feel like I will not be the same when it is over. 2008 was a good year overall. I started out having just decided to stay in Tulsa instead of move back to WA with my brother.
I had a girlfriend in WA who was not very happy with my decision and we ended our relationship not very far into the year. Like most years since my divorce I spent most of the year single...and I am still single today. I am single or a mixture of reasons and most of them have to do with me. I have been blessed with amazing friends and some of them (for whatever reason) have from time to time considered me at least an option. I generally drive them away or run away before we get to the dating part. I am still friends with almost all of them but for reasons that I won't go into in this post I am still single.
:) I just wrote and deleted a long section about my feelings on dating and how I have recently come to realize how important it is to me in the long run. I am not going to share that part yet...mainly because I haven't thought it all the way out. I just kind of showed up as I was writing this post, I want to know what I think about it before I let anyone else in on it.
Other than my being single this year was a lot of fun. I got to spend some good quality time with my nephews on multiple occasions. They are growing up really fast and it hurts that I am this far away from them. I know this is where I am supposed to be but there are times when that doesn't feel like it really matters. I don't get homesick for the state of Washington, I just miss my family a lot. Another thing I did in 2008 is grow closer to a few people than I ever expected would happen. I am a pretty closed off person during this year I made a point to open myself up and let some people in. In one case it has hurt more than anything I have felt in the past 10 years and at the same time I have learned a lot. I am working on getting myself to stay open and communicate what I need to communicate as this year gets going. We will see how that goes but I am hopeful.
I am not one for New Years resolutions. I have never made any and this year was no different. I do set goals for myself twice a year. I set goals in September and goals in January. My goals again are not something I am going to share but I have set attainable goals this year as opposed to the goals I set in September. I am not sure what I was thinking, but my goals were long term goals that I could not possibly reach in just a year. I am trying to make this set of goals something I can actually do during 2009. Again I guess we will see how it goes.
Well I am going to rest...maybe not sleep, but at least rest until I go to work. I will try to update this later.
1 comment:
I wish we could have hung out more the past few years. You are an awesome guy. Appreciate all the times we did chat, even for short periods.
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