I've been in Arkansas for almost a month...

Actually last month today was my last day at my old job.  It was a bittersweet day. I really enjoyed my old job at KHM and I had a lot of good friends (and my Dad) that I was leaving behind when I moved to Arkansas. 

One thing that wasn't bittersweet was that I was going to be a full time minister. For the first time in my life I don't have to have another job in order to be on staff at a church. This has been a goal of mine since I was young...well younger...depending on how you look at my age now.  :)  

I started telling people I wanted to be a minister when I was 4 or 5 years old. At that time no one in my family was in the ministry or even talking about it. It was something that was not expected and as I grew up it wasn't something that a lot of people understood. I am a regular guy and that makes people think that I shouldn't or couldn't be serious about being a minister. I have had more than one friend say that they couldn't see me as a minister and recently I had someone tell me that they couldn't see me as a pastor because I wasn't like any pastor that they ever knew.

So far all of the people who felt that this couldn't be my calling in life haven't had any real experience with any actual pastors. They may have gone to church a few times but none of them were very close to their "pastors".

I am not sure what exactly people expect me to act like in order to be a pastor.  I am real with people and I try to walk in love. I don't know what else I need to do. I have had times in my life when I did things that I don't think are right and if you had asked me while I was doing those things I would have told you they weren't right. I'm human, I have made mistakes, I still make mistakes and bad decisions...but I am doing my best not to keep making mistakes or bad decisions.

No one is perfect and I know I am far from it. All I can do is do my very best to build relationships with the people I come in contact with and show God's love through my life every time I get that chance. I may not do all the things that you think a pastor should do but I am always going to do my very best to live a life that is worthy of the high honor that has been given to me. I have the opportunity to speak into peoples lives, to come visit them when they are hurting, to lead by example, to challenge them to grow when they feel like they are "good enough", to mend the broken and restore them to where they once were, to assist people in becoming who they want to be. I have not taken this calling lightly in the past and I don't take it lightly now.  

Some of you who will read this know me, some of you used to know me and some of you don't know me at all.  No matter what category you fall into remember this one thing: if there is ever anything that I can do for you I will do it.  Know that I am here for you in any way that I can be.

I know this isn't my typical post but I am in a time of transition and I wanted to let you know where I was and what I was thinking.

Time for a new chapter...

Change takes many forms, sometimes it is feared while at other times it is looked upon as a blessing. Change may be different for us all but one thing is certain, change happens in all of our lives.

I know I am not the first to say it or the only one who believes it...but it still deserves to be repeated; it isn't what happens to you that defines you, it is your reaction to it.

When I started working in the mail room at Rhema there was a quote posted on the wall. It said, "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.". I believe this to be true. We all have things happen in our lives. I have been truly blessed with how my life has progressed. I have an amazing family and the best friends anyone could ask for. I have been "in the right place at the right time" in order to get the experience that was needed to get me the job I will start on Wednesday. I just happened to be crazy enough to get up at 6am to play basketball every morning 12 years ago and I met an equally crazy man named James. James just happens to be the youth pastor at the church where I will be going. He is the ONLY person who I have kept in contact with from my first year at Rhema...well sometimes he has been the one to keep in contact with me. He essentially tricked me into coming out and hearing the pastor speak and then got me set up for an interview for a job that I wasn't looking for.

Now this series of events is something I could have never set up on purpose. I didn't plan it and some would say (and at times I may say they aren't far off) that I don't deserve any of it. I wasn't "qualified" for the job I had, but I was faithful and I worked hard. I am now qualified and I'm leaving for an unknown. A job I am very excited about but is not one that is clearly outlined. Once again change showed up and I am going on faith and that is enough for me.

Some of you don't share my faith, some people say that it is all about luck or chance or karma...but I simply can't agree. I shouldn't be alive today. I have been in 2 accidents that should have ended my life and yet here I am. I was flying to Tulsa to visit my brother and I was offered a job that once again I didn't have the qualifications or the experience for. I couldn't have "applied" for the job with any confidence and yet it was dropped on me. All of my jobs in the past 10 years have given me the skills for the job that I received after it and that in and of itself is a miracle. No one is more surprised or more grsteful than I am at the opportunities I have been given.

I say I am taking this job on faith. That is true but there is more than just my faith at work here. There are now at least 500 people in Arkansas who are putting there faith in me. Normally when I write it is to make you think, it is to try to invoke a response from you, a call to action in your own life. Tonight/this morning...I am writing so that you will see something. You will see the choice I have made. I am stepping out of the comforts of my job, my house, my family and my friends into an unknown. Failure is not an option. I will do the job they have asked me to do. You can hold me accountable and hold me responsible. I believe I will be given the tools needed to succeed and I know I have the desire. They say God helps those who help themselves...I say God will help me as long as my goal is to help others. Tomorrow I pack my car, Tuesday I move and Wednesday I begin a new journey. I will talk to you again on the other side.

I have been busy with my upcoming move...

I haven't been writing but I have had plenty on my mind. The question is not if I have enough to write about. The question is simply do I have enough to write about that anyone would be in the slightest bit interested in!

So I have had the subject of love on my mind a lot lately. I was listening to a sound track from a movie when I was driving from L.A. to Tulsa. I wasn't thinking about anything much except the unique sound of one of the artists voice and then she sang a few lines that really struck me.

The words were, "so if you wanna burn yourself, remember that I love you, and if you wanna cut yourself, remember that I love you, and if you wanna kill yourself, remember that I love you! Call me up before you're dead, we can make some plans instead. Send me an IM I'll be your friend..."

I am not sure exactly why this song interested me so much. If you listen to the whole song it is kind of an anti-war protest song...with love thrown in. I want to ask her (the artist) if she ever got any IM's from anyone who just needed someone to talk to. I really want to know if she is serious about what she says and how she let's it affect her life. In her music she swears and talks bad about the current war. According to what I have heard for most of my life she isn't someone who I should agree with and she doesn't understand love.


*I want to make sure I insert something to explain some of my statements about growing up and the people who modeled love for me. My parents, brothers and my family (including the Chartiers and Harringtons of course) showed me love in word and action. I don't use them as my illustrations because I thought that is what everyone had! I didn't understand how blessed I was to grow up with the people I grew up with. So when I say that someone else "showed me love in a way that I had never seen..." or something like that it is because I mean I didn't see that love outside of my immediate circle very often and that person made a bigger impression because it was a surprise! Now back to the story...thanks for your attention*

So there are two people to this point who have surprised me with their statements about what I consider to be true love. One was my sixth grade band teacher when he explained to all of us that he lived by the motto of "if I can I should" whenever someone asked him if he could do something for them. The other person is the girl who wrote the song I mentioned above. Now my band teacher was a nice guy and I am not anyones judge but he told us that he had been "living in sin" for years and now he was going to marry his gf who had been living with him. That statement alone made him someone that I shouldn't pattern any part of my life after, or at least that is how it seemed to me when I was 12. Then this girl who curses and is obviously very liberal in her views (which is obvious from her songs on this CD). I was always under the inpression that they needed to learn to love like the people who were in church with me.

Here is my main problem...I see them loving the un-lovely and the hurting while a lot of times in church I hear people bad mouthing "liberals" and "sinners". It is a strange thought to me that in the world we live in Christians are looked at as narrow-minded exclusives who are unaccepting of people that don't agree with them while liberal non-Christians are looked at as accepting and open minded.

I can honestly say that my parents always taught us to love everyone. People are what mattered and even if you didn't agree with their actions, we needed to love the people. I had a talk on New Years with a friend that I have literally known my entire life. He said that he really enjoyed coming over to our house because my parents were always accepting of him and we were always able to hang out. He knew what we believed and even though he still doesn't know much about our beliefs he saw our love. Isn't that what it is about? You won't find someone who is more liberal than him, he has even moved to a socialist country and he loves it. This would again make him someone to avoid because "evil companions corrupt good manners...". I have a question for you, "Who did Jesus hang out with aside from his disciples?"

Are you someone that a person who has different views would feel comfortable talking to? Are you someone who is going to love that person no matter what they say or do? Are you someone that can be called if there is a need...even if that need is just a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on? I want to show God's love to everyone that sees me. Not so they are impressed with me but so that they ask me how I can be that loving. That is my goal. If you need something from me just ask. If I can I will.

Real quick post...

I have to go take a shower and get ready for softball this morning but it has been a while since I posted. I am moving in just over three weeks now. I am not all the way packed but I am getting there and we have someone to move in so that the rent will stay the same for Dad and Caleb. That is good, I didn't want to have them have to pay more.

I spent last weekend in Bryant, AR and then on Monday afternoon I flew to LA and drove back to Tulsa. I got back at 1:45am Thursday morning and then went to work later that morning! I had a long drive back and I was in a car alone. I was asked by one of my best friends what I thought about on the way back and I said I didn't have any major breakthroughs of any kind. I was really focused on my drive since I was driving someone else's car. Pretty much the topic on my mind was the same topic I have had on my mind for a while. Love. I'll write more later...I just think it's sad. I tried to show love to everyone I came in contact with on this trip. People were shocked that I did some of the things I did because they weren't "convenient" for me. These were friends of mine. I don't consider it a great sacrifice to be kind to my friends. It's what we should always do and yet they were shocked. It doesn't take much effort to make someones day, give it a try. Let me know how it goes for you.

Something different this time...

I am not going to give my opinion right now. I am sitting in the St. Louis airport waiting to board a plane and I was reading my responses to a previous post. I have decided to see if I can get some answers from some of you.

My question is simply this: if you don't go to church, why? I'm not asking why you don't go to my church or a certain church in your town, but why don't you go at all? Do you not believe in God, do you not believe in organized religion...what is your reason? You can answer and not give your name, that is fine. The only reason I gave those two possible reasons above was because those are answers I have been given in person when I asked this question.

Please take a moment and answer my question. I really want to know. :) I am not going to combat your answers or come against your logic in any way. I am truly curious.

Thank you for taking the time to read this far and I appreciate any and all feedback.

My Dad...

This past week I watched parts of several stand-up comedians acts on Comedy Central. It seemed like every time I was clicking past they were talking about their Dad and what he was like. Everyone was laughing and they did several crowd shots where people were pointing at each other and shaking their heads as if to say, "He's talking about your Dad!".

As I watched I realized how different my memories were from what apparently most people grew up with. Jokes only work if there is an element of truth in them. I know I was blessed to grow up in the family I grew up in. Everyone has issues and my parents weren't perfect but I don't have those memories of my Dad treating me or my Mom bad. Even when we were in trouble my parents would let anger pass and they would punish us because of our actions and not because they were "angry".

I wonder if this model of a father figure has anything to do with the way that the three Johnson boys grew up as opposed to a lot of people we were around? It just makes me wonder how people's view of their own father affects their view of God as their Father? When I hear father I think of love. My parents put aside their own desires and their time to pour into our lives every day. If you don't trust your father or you didn't have a lot of love passed on to you from your father then you may not always have a great concept of God as your Father. I know God loves me more than my parents do and that is not an easy thing for me to grasp.

So if families are falling apart at a record pace then do you think that is at least a portion of the reason that the percentage of people who claim to be Christians is dropping in the United States every year?

Just wondering...I have no proof. I am just laying in bed thinking when I should be sleeping. I know that not everyone who reads this is a Christian but I do believe you all know I am. This is simply food for thought.

It's starting to get close to that time...

Up until this morning I had been plan out a strategy for packing my stuff up before my move. I decided that today is the day I start packing. I am going to try to set aside some time to pack every day. I am buying plastic tubs to put my clothes in and at this point that is really all I am taking with me. It is all starting to hit me at once...I really am moving to Arkansas very soon.

The reality of my move is finally starting to sink in. I am leaving a lot of things here in Tulsa. I have lived here for 6 of the last 7 years. I have made some good friends and my Dad lives here as well. I am really excited about the opportunities that are waiting for me in Bryant and I believe that it is the next step on the road of life for me. It just isn't always easy to let go of where you are when you don't really know exactly what the future holds.

In February of 2002 I made the move to Tulsa to stay with my brother while he finished up his 3rd year at Rhema. We were going to move back to WA in June and continue on with our lives. Clearly I was not the one running the show, even though I thought at that time that I was. My friend Rachel told me that I was never coming back to WA. I told her I would be back in June and she laughed and said I wouldn't be coming back. I didn't understand and I told her she was crazy, that was 7 years ago. I still haven't moved back and with this move it is looking more like she was right every day. I can't say I will be in Arkansas forever but I know I will be there for a decent amount of time and if it is where I stay then that is fine with me. I am through trying to get God to line up with my plans. :) This job is something that I know I will enjoy and I have a good friend already working there. He has been there for 3 years and we work well together.

All of that being said, it is not the job that I am uneasy about at all. I just am feeling the finality of this move. I am leaving people here who I will only talk to on facebook from this point forward. People and relationships are very important. How we affect the people around us is the way we leave our mark when we are gone. I may be a lot of things but sentimental is not one of them. The house I am living in, my office, this big desk in my small office...none of that stuff is going to matter to me. I will miss the people that are still here.

When I am gone I want people to look back on their time with me or there time when I was around and see God's love in action. That is my goal and that is what I try to do every day. We don't know what a kind word or one simple act can do for someone else. You don't know what the world is throwing at those around you. Even when people don't look like they need help it never hurts to do something above and beyond the "norm". It takes very little effort to rise above average when it comes to kindness. Try and rise to the level that you would like to see people rise to in your life.