I can't let it go...

I know that most people don't read a blog if it is over 500 words. This one will probably be too long for most of you to read. Know this, we can all do more. If you don't ever get anything else out of what I write please get this: we all need to do more to help our fellow man.

I am currently sitting in my office getting ready for service tonight. I know that when I am done closing up the coffee shop tonight I will go home to my apartment. I will go into an apartment where I have all the food I need, a bed to sleep in, a shower, clean dishes and way more clothes than I need.

I know that I am blessed, blessed beyond what I deserve. There is something stirring in me and it has been stirring for a while. I'm not sure exactly what it is and I have had a really hard time putting it into words. I'm not sure that today, right now is the right place or the right time but let's see how this turns out.

In the past few months I have run into some interesting people. I have read some interesting books and articles. There seems to be a thread running through my life and the lives of those I am coming into contact with. That thread seems to be a willingness to sacrifice.

Last week I found a blog, by accident, of a college student who is living on the streets. He chose to be homeless and is planning on living out of his van for the next year. I found a video online of a group of teens that spent 40 hours on the street with no possessions and no where to go. They had to search for food and sleep on the ground. I saw another video of a group that went down to Louisiana and spent a few days passing out food and clothing to the homeless and the poor in that area.

Those are the people I don't know in places I don't live. There have been some real experiences for me here in Arkansas lately too. I am making more friends that seem to not be concerned with stuff and holding onto things. I have started going downtown consistently with a small group and passing out water and a few things to the people on the streets here. We have made some new friends and last night was one of my "favorite" trips downtown (if you can have a favorite trip). We saw some of our friends we hadn't seen in a few weeks, we exchanged phone numbers with a couple of the homeless people and told them we would get a hold of them next time we come downtown.

We will be back and we will try to get a hold of them. If we see them all again it will be because they are still on the street. They still don't have jobs and they still don't have homes. That is a hard concept for me to deal with.

I know that a lot of them are on the street because of their own choices and addictions. That is not up for debate. The thing that gets to me is that it was so easy for us to get to know them. It took us showing up and spending an hour with them one night. Ever since that night we have been friends. We know each other by name and when they see us coming they come out of where ever they are to say hello. The water and the food are less important than they were that first night. We talk about our week and we laugh at each others jokes. We are really friends, maybe not "close" friends but we are friends.

I want to do more. On my second trip to downtown Little Rock to see the same group of people I had an interesting conversation. A gentleman who calls himself "Smiley" asked me if I knew his friend. She lived in Bryant and he thought we might know each other. I said I didn't know her. He then proceeded to tell me about her. He said she comes down with her van and takes a group back to her house. They shower, clean up and get on fresh clothes. Then they all go to the mall in Conway. He told me it was a lot of fun because the people there don't know they are homeless. He said it was great to spend a couple of house being treated like a regular person instead of a homeless person. He looked me right in the eye and said, "People treat you different when they know you are homeless."

That broke my heart. Does having a home make me a better person than someone who doesn't have one? Do my things make me more important that someone who doesn't have things? Does the fact that I may be able to help you if you needed help make me someone who you want to know? "Smiley" has issues. He is on medication for a few things, but he is a lot of fun to talk to. He carries on great conversations, he is smart and seems to be fairly well educated. He used to own his own business, he was a home owner and he had a family. Now he expects people to treat him like less than a person. He knows that he is not going to get the respect of a "normal person" when he goes around town. He is not bitter, he isn't angry, he knows he made poor choices and that is why he is where he is today.

So what is it that I can't let go? I want to know how much more I could be doing. I want to know how I can help the people I have met...and more than that how I can help the people that are worse off than them!

The people who live on the streets in America still eat better than a large portion of the people in the world today. What am I going to do to help the people who actually don't have the ability to help themselves? I am still working on that. I will come up with a way, I will come up with an answer to the question that is eating at me. When I do I will ask you for your help. This isn't something just for me, this is a global problem with a global solution. For now I am asking you to look around. Open your eyes to the needs that are around you. Do something today.