I am not sure exactly why I didn't post what I wrote last night but I decided against it. Some things just are not meant to be shared in this kind of forum I guess.
So last night I helped a friend. He is the manager of a crew that cleans schools and he has had some trouble with his employees not showing up for work. He asked if anyone would help him (I am guessing it was a group text) and I replied that I would. I try to live by the standard that if someone asks for help "If I can, I should." It is something that my band teacher told me when I was in sixth grade and I have tried to always keep it in mind.
My friend was thankful that I was willing to help and give up my Friday night. I said it is what friends do...and then I realized I was the only friend who was there. I am not the nicest guy ever, in fact I would argue that I am not the nicest guy in my family. I know there are at least 4 other Johnson men that I would consider to be nicer than me (the 3 adult Jacks and Chris). This being said, I still try my best to do the right thing when given the chance. Last night I was given the chance.
I have been seeing a lot of the "25 random things..." posts on facebook lately. I posted one myself. It took me 5 minutes to write and I didn't even try to be witty with my answers. Now I wish I had written some other things into it but I don't think I will do it again. The reason I am bringing up the "25 random things..." is that in several of them lately I have noticed that they talk about "love" and how it will either solve everything or it is the answer to all of our problems. I couldn't agree more!
Since I started this post I have gone back and read a few of the "25 random things..." posts, there doesn't seem to be as much about love as I thought. Maybe it was just on my mind and the few times I saw it, that is what stuck out to me.
*side note: I have tried to finish this blog three times and I have erased the ending. Let's see if I can actually finish it*
John 15:13 "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." I used to think this had to do with dying for a friend. I hadn't really ever looked at this verse in context, as sad as that may be, until last year. I grew up hearing that verse but I had never gone to study it out. In verse 12 it says "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." At this point Jesus had not died for anyone...but He had laid down His life for His friends.
I want to look at two examples of people who in my life I have seen lay down there life for someone else:
1. My brother Chris:
One of the reasons that I have such respect for my younger brother is that he dropped everything in his life and came back to Oklahoma for me. He told me that when I went to my second year at Rhema that he would be there to help me...and he was. He does this kind of thing on a consistant basis. He will lay down what he wants to do in order to help out someone else. Not because of what he will get in return, but because he is showing love to that person.
2. Chrissy Nicole Adams
Chrissy is someone who I met as a "friend of a friend." Most relationships that we build are through people we are around consistantly. For example: church, work, school, sports...you get the idea. Chrissy worked for a church I have never been to, she went to homeschool (so we never went to school together), she hasn't played any sports that I know of since we met...except that one time we all went out and through the frisbee, but I am not sure that counts as a sport played, and she lives in a town that is 45 minutes from where I live. In other words, we didn't have a lot of reason to really see each other. Truthfully she has been closer to my brother than she has been to me but I would consider her a good friend. She made this list because she has made a decision that not very many people would make. She is going to take a year out of her life and donate it to people who truly need it.
James 1:27 says, "A religion that is pure and stainless according to God the Father is this: to take care of orphans and widows who are suffering, and to keep oneself unstained by the world." Well she is taking a year of her life and is going over to China to volunteer in an orphange. She is taking care of orphans for an entire year. This is one of the most selfless things I have ever seen or heard. She had a great job working at a church that is growing and yet she gave it up to go where she is needed most. It isn't about what she can get, it is about what she can give.
She challenges me to be a better person every day of my life. What can I do that will help someone when they truly need it? Take a look at what she is doing:
http://www.placemeinyourplan.blogspot.com/
So those are the two people who challenge me to be a better person, to give more, to not be concerned about "me" and to be more concerned with what needs I can help fill. I am not saying you need to change anything in your life. I am just asking you to take a look around. Help those who need help. Smile at the people who need someone to smile at them. Hold the door for that person who has their arms full. Do what you can do to fill the gaps that society is leaving in other peoples lives. Show some love and see how it goes. I think it will get better.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Today...
Has been a bit rough so far...but I am trying to look at the big picture. None of what has happened today will matter in 20 years...with the exception of me making a friend cry because I was rude. I need to work on that and I already said I was sorry. She forgave me...but all in all that is the only thing that has any meaning long term that happened today. I am smiling now. I still think I need a nap!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
I have something that is worth writing about...
Finally I have something I want to write about...but I think I am going to work on making it into a book rather than make it just one post on here. So instead of that subject I think I am going to write about things I miss.
I woke up last night in the middle of the night and I started thinking about things I missed. As it usually works when I am just waking up, my thoughts were in no particular order so here we go...
I miss fresh apple cider from my great-grandma's apple orchard. I miss my Grandma Arids making tang for us because that is what the astronauts drank. I miss waking up Saturday morning to rake the batters circle and chalk the foul lines of our wiffleball field. I miss knowing I would never have to go to sleep alone again. I miss being able to make a 3am trip to the ocean just to watch the sunrise. I miss watching my nephews come down the stairs in the morning to play with their train set. I miss all-night basketball tournaments of David Robinson's video game. I miss going to play basketball at "The Gheto" in Stevenson. I miss walking down the unfinished turnpike in the middle of the night with Jad, Chris and the rest of the gang. I miss playing in the fountains downtown until the security guards ran us off. I miss holding hands when holding hands was as far as you went in a "relationship". I miss playing "offense/defense" with my brothers in the back yard. I miss dunk competitions on our nerf hoops growing up. I miss Thanksgiving dinner with the whole family at Grandma Jo's house. I miss trying to get Grandpa Pee-Wee to stop smoking and drinking because we wanted him to be around longer. I miss hearing hunting stories while we were cutting up meat in Grandpa Jim's shed. I miss choco and toast with the family on a cold Saturday morning. I miss lacing up my cleats and the smell of a well oiled glove while I get ready for a game. I miss boxing with Corey after school out past the football field. I miss pulling Marina behind my bike while she sits on a skateboard. I miss jumping in puddles with Melissa. I miss walking on the beach and talking to Mike until the sun was coming up. I miss swimming in our clothes after jumping the fence with Rachel. I miss sitting and talking to Teri about all kinds of different things...while I got rocked at sequence. I miss watching Joe try to ride a unicycle. I miss watching the office with Kim just because we wanted to laugh. I miss waking up to the smell of pancakes in the morning before school. I miss living in a town where everyone knows everyone. I miss learning about biology from teachers I knew were smarter than me. I miss singing in choir. I miss hearing Keith every week. I miss painting. I miss drawing, even when I knew that nothing I drew could match what my older brother was drawing.
I miss a lot of things...but normally I don't think about the fact that I miss them. Life isn't about looking back, it is about where we are going and how many people we can bring with us. People matter...find something else worth giving your life for.
I woke up last night in the middle of the night and I started thinking about things I missed. As it usually works when I am just waking up, my thoughts were in no particular order so here we go...
I miss fresh apple cider from my great-grandma's apple orchard. I miss my Grandma Arids making tang for us because that is what the astronauts drank. I miss waking up Saturday morning to rake the batters circle and chalk the foul lines of our wiffleball field. I miss knowing I would never have to go to sleep alone again. I miss being able to make a 3am trip to the ocean just to watch the sunrise. I miss watching my nephews come down the stairs in the morning to play with their train set. I miss all-night basketball tournaments of David Robinson's video game. I miss going to play basketball at "The Gheto" in Stevenson. I miss walking down the unfinished turnpike in the middle of the night with Jad, Chris and the rest of the gang. I miss playing in the fountains downtown until the security guards ran us off. I miss holding hands when holding hands was as far as you went in a "relationship". I miss playing "offense/defense" with my brothers in the back yard. I miss dunk competitions on our nerf hoops growing up. I miss Thanksgiving dinner with the whole family at Grandma Jo's house. I miss trying to get Grandpa Pee-Wee to stop smoking and drinking because we wanted him to be around longer. I miss hearing hunting stories while we were cutting up meat in Grandpa Jim's shed. I miss choco and toast with the family on a cold Saturday morning. I miss lacing up my cleats and the smell of a well oiled glove while I get ready for a game. I miss boxing with Corey after school out past the football field. I miss pulling Marina behind my bike while she sits on a skateboard. I miss jumping in puddles with Melissa. I miss walking on the beach and talking to Mike until the sun was coming up. I miss swimming in our clothes after jumping the fence with Rachel. I miss sitting and talking to Teri about all kinds of different things...while I got rocked at sequence. I miss watching Joe try to ride a unicycle. I miss watching the office with Kim just because we wanted to laugh. I miss waking up to the smell of pancakes in the morning before school. I miss living in a town where everyone knows everyone. I miss learning about biology from teachers I knew were smarter than me. I miss singing in choir. I miss hearing Keith every week. I miss painting. I miss drawing, even when I knew that nothing I drew could match what my older brother was drawing.
I miss a lot of things...but normally I don't think about the fact that I miss them. Life isn't about looking back, it is about where we are going and how many people we can bring with us. People matter...find something else worth giving your life for.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
I haven't posted from my phone in a while...
I am laying here in bed while Fabien and Caleb watch tv and play on facebook. I should be asleep...but I am wide awake. Today was another strange day...but it was also a good day. I got a pretty stern talking to from a friend and I will be the first to say I needed it.
I am not perfect and I have never claimed that I was...although I used to say, "Nobody's perfect, but I am pretty close.". It was a joke and I stopped saying it when I was in Jr. High, or at least I stopped saying it so much. :)
The reason I bring up not being perfect is because I made a few decisions that were not good choices in the past month. Now I get to work through some of the stuff that happens after you make a poor decision. Not a fun process and something that I am working on having to do less and less as time goes on.
One thing I will say is that I am glad I have friends who will stand up and say they don't agree with me or that they don't like what they see as far as my decision making is concerned. I always appreciate honesty, even when it calls me out. I may not always agree or I may have other reasons that you don't see...but in this case I was just being dumb. I was letting emotions (or lack of emotions) dictate what I was doing. I got called on it and I am doing my best to get it straightened out.
*side note: I got an interesting phone call tonight from an old friend...I will post about it in a couple weeks*
I think I will try to sleep. I am not sure if it will work, but I need to at least try.
I am not perfect and I have never claimed that I was...although I used to say, "Nobody's perfect, but I am pretty close.". It was a joke and I stopped saying it when I was in Jr. High, or at least I stopped saying it so much. :)
The reason I bring up not being perfect is because I made a few decisions that were not good choices in the past month. Now I get to work through some of the stuff that happens after you make a poor decision. Not a fun process and something that I am working on having to do less and less as time goes on.
One thing I will say is that I am glad I have friends who will stand up and say they don't agree with me or that they don't like what they see as far as my decision making is concerned. I always appreciate honesty, even when it calls me out. I may not always agree or I may have other reasons that you don't see...but in this case I was just being dumb. I was letting emotions (or lack of emotions) dictate what I was doing. I got called on it and I am doing my best to get it straightened out.
*side note: I got an interesting phone call tonight from an old friend...I will post about it in a couple weeks*
I think I will try to sleep. I am not sure if it will work, but I need to at least try.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Once again I should be sleeping...
and once again I am not. I got to work in two hours. I will work at least a 10 hour day and then turn around and work an 8 hour day. Before I go to sleep again (for more than an hour or two) I will have worked almost half of a normal work week and yet I am wide awake now and I can't get myself to rest. I have too much going on in my head.
This year has started off very strange. I am not sure exactly how it is all going to go but I feel like I will not be the same when it is over. 2008 was a good year overall. I started out having just decided to stay in Tulsa instead of move back to WA with my brother.
I had a girlfriend in WA who was not very happy with my decision and we ended our relationship not very far into the year. Like most years since my divorce I spent most of the year single...and I am still single today. I am single or a mixture of reasons and most of them have to do with me. I have been blessed with amazing friends and some of them (for whatever reason) have from time to time considered me at least an option. I generally drive them away or run away before we get to the dating part. I am still friends with almost all of them but for reasons that I won't go into in this post I am still single.
:) I just wrote and deleted a long section about my feelings on dating and how I have recently come to realize how important it is to me in the long run. I am not going to share that part yet...mainly because I haven't thought it all the way out. I just kind of showed up as I was writing this post, I want to know what I think about it before I let anyone else in on it.
Other than my being single this year was a lot of fun. I got to spend some good quality time with my nephews on multiple occasions. They are growing up really fast and it hurts that I am this far away from them. I know this is where I am supposed to be but there are times when that doesn't feel like it really matters. I don't get homesick for the state of Washington, I just miss my family a lot. Another thing I did in 2008 is grow closer to a few people than I ever expected would happen. I am a pretty closed off person during this year I made a point to open myself up and let some people in. In one case it has hurt more than anything I have felt in the past 10 years and at the same time I have learned a lot. I am working on getting myself to stay open and communicate what I need to communicate as this year gets going. We will see how that goes but I am hopeful.
I am not one for New Years resolutions. I have never made any and this year was no different. I do set goals for myself twice a year. I set goals in September and goals in January. My goals again are not something I am going to share but I have set attainable goals this year as opposed to the goals I set in September. I am not sure what I was thinking, but my goals were long term goals that I could not possibly reach in just a year. I am trying to make this set of goals something I can actually do during 2009. Again I guess we will see how it goes.
Well I am going to rest...maybe not sleep, but at least rest until I go to work. I will try to update this later.
This year has started off very strange. I am not sure exactly how it is all going to go but I feel like I will not be the same when it is over. 2008 was a good year overall. I started out having just decided to stay in Tulsa instead of move back to WA with my brother.
I had a girlfriend in WA who was not very happy with my decision and we ended our relationship not very far into the year. Like most years since my divorce I spent most of the year single...and I am still single today. I am single or a mixture of reasons and most of them have to do with me. I have been blessed with amazing friends and some of them (for whatever reason) have from time to time considered me at least an option. I generally drive them away or run away before we get to the dating part. I am still friends with almost all of them but for reasons that I won't go into in this post I am still single.
:) I just wrote and deleted a long section about my feelings on dating and how I have recently come to realize how important it is to me in the long run. I am not going to share that part yet...mainly because I haven't thought it all the way out. I just kind of showed up as I was writing this post, I want to know what I think about it before I let anyone else in on it.
Other than my being single this year was a lot of fun. I got to spend some good quality time with my nephews on multiple occasions. They are growing up really fast and it hurts that I am this far away from them. I know this is where I am supposed to be but there are times when that doesn't feel like it really matters. I don't get homesick for the state of Washington, I just miss my family a lot. Another thing I did in 2008 is grow closer to a few people than I ever expected would happen. I am a pretty closed off person during this year I made a point to open myself up and let some people in. In one case it has hurt more than anything I have felt in the past 10 years and at the same time I have learned a lot. I am working on getting myself to stay open and communicate what I need to communicate as this year gets going. We will see how that goes but I am hopeful.
I am not one for New Years resolutions. I have never made any and this year was no different. I do set goals for myself twice a year. I set goals in September and goals in January. My goals again are not something I am going to share but I have set attainable goals this year as opposed to the goals I set in September. I am not sure what I was thinking, but my goals were long term goals that I could not possibly reach in just a year. I am trying to make this set of goals something I can actually do during 2009. Again I guess we will see how it goes.
Well I am going to rest...maybe not sleep, but at least rest until I go to work. I will try to update this later.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
What is the deal...
I haven't written anything in a while...actually it has been a long time. It isn't that I haven't had anything to write about, the problem I have been running into is that what I have wanted about are things that I am going through. I don't like to write out of emotion and I really don't like to write "about" people so I haven't written anything. I try to look at things from an outside perspective and not make it personal but lately I haven't been able to do that, so I haven't been sharing anything on here.
I am hoping to work it all out soon. :) I miss writing!
I am hoping to work it all out soon. :) I miss writing!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
I should be sleeping...
I am laying here on the couch out in La Center, WA writing this...instead of sleeping. As I begin it is just after 11:00pm and my plane leaves at 7:30am tomorrow morning.
I am been in the Northwest since Christmas eve (thanks to a three day layover in Denver due to snow). This trip started off strange but not bad. I got to spend three days with a famliy I have known for almost 25 years! When I got to the NW on Christmas eve I found out that no one was going to make the trip on Christmas. I was supposed to see my whole family at one time but due to weather once again it didn't happen. I did get to see my brothers and my sister-in-law along with my amazing nephews on Christmas day. Also in the two weeks I was here I got to see my Mom and step-Dad for a few days, I saw my Grandpa several times along with seeing various cousins, Uncles, Aunts and friends.
All in all it was a good trip and I had a great time. The thing that I realized most during this trip was that this isn't home anymore. It will always be the place I am talking about when I say I am going to visit "home" but it no longer feels like home.
I miss my family and friends from here every day that I am in Oklahoma but the thing about this trip was; I missed my friends and family in Oklahoma every day that I was here. I have been gone for the past 7 years and 6 of those years have been spent in Broken Arrow, OK. I have made life-long friends there and right now my Dad lives with me. It is where I feel the most at ease and it is where I feel like I am supposed to be right now. Could that change? Of course it could...but for now it is home.
I still haven't taken the time to reflect on this entire year but tonight is not the right night to do that. I need to get some sleep but not before I thank everyone who has made Oklahoma my home. I showed up as "Chris's brother" and people have made me feel like a part of their family. I have friends who have: opened their homes during the holidays, thrown me birthday parties, given me rides to the airport, cooked meals for me and given me hugs when that is what I needed most. To anyone who has played a part in my life in the past 7 years I just wanted to say thank you. I couldn't ask for a better group of people to be surrounded with.
I am been in the Northwest since Christmas eve (thanks to a three day layover in Denver due to snow). This trip started off strange but not bad. I got to spend three days with a famliy I have known for almost 25 years! When I got to the NW on Christmas eve I found out that no one was going to make the trip on Christmas. I was supposed to see my whole family at one time but due to weather once again it didn't happen. I did get to see my brothers and my sister-in-law along with my amazing nephews on Christmas day. Also in the two weeks I was here I got to see my Mom and step-Dad for a few days, I saw my Grandpa several times along with seeing various cousins, Uncles, Aunts and friends.
All in all it was a good trip and I had a great time. The thing that I realized most during this trip was that this isn't home anymore. It will always be the place I am talking about when I say I am going to visit "home" but it no longer feels like home.
I miss my family and friends from here every day that I am in Oklahoma but the thing about this trip was; I missed my friends and family in Oklahoma every day that I was here. I have been gone for the past 7 years and 6 of those years have been spent in Broken Arrow, OK. I have made life-long friends there and right now my Dad lives with me. It is where I feel the most at ease and it is where I feel like I am supposed to be right now. Could that change? Of course it could...but for now it is home.
I still haven't taken the time to reflect on this entire year but tonight is not the right night to do that. I need to get some sleep but not before I thank everyone who has made Oklahoma my home. I showed up as "Chris's brother" and people have made me feel like a part of their family. I have friends who have: opened their homes during the holidays, thrown me birthday parties, given me rides to the airport, cooked meals for me and given me hugs when that is what I needed most. To anyone who has played a part in my life in the past 7 years I just wanted to say thank you. I couldn't ask for a better group of people to be surrounded with.
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